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Dating In Your 40s, 50s & 60s 

Posted: 2008-02-22 17:10:01

By Julie Taylor 
Courtesy of Match.com’s
Happen magazine

Want love and relationship advice that speaks specifically to the life stage you’re in? Read on for wisdom you need now to suit any and every age.

There are certain things about dating that, no matter your age, remain the same, from the butterflies you feel when you meet someone cute to that painfully sweet moment when you exchange your first I love you’s. And yet let’s be honest: There are also major differences between hooking up fresh out of college, looking for a mate during mid-life, or finding a companion when you’re 60-something. Goals shift. Priorities change. To help you navigate each decade, we consulted leading dating and relationship experts to pinpoint the common desires and pitfalls of each age group — and got their advice on how you can maximize your dating experience along the way. 


Dating in Your 40s 
Since half of all first marriages fail, the 40-something singles scene is flooded with divorced folk who are back on the market — with somewhat rusty dating skills. Or people who can be feeling ready for the ”real thing” — if only they could find The One.

Brush up on your dating skills
If you’re dating after a split, ease into it, says Beatty Cohan, co-author of ‘For Better, For Worse, Forever: Discover the Path to Lasting Love’. Make small talk with the person next to you in the grocery store line, or go out on a ”practice” date with a friend, asking them to be brutally honest about how you come across. You may also be way overdue for a makeover. ”This doesn’t mean you have to get a facelift,” she says, but it just might be time to trade in that ten-year-old pair of stonewashed, baggy jeans for a pair that actually fits.

Don’t date too soon after divorce
People frequently date too soon after a divorce, warns Parmelee. ”They need to allow themselves time to heal and recognize how they contributed to the demise of their relationship.” That way, history is less likely to repeat itself, and they won’t fall into the same destructive patterns. To gauge if you’re ready, ask yourself these questions, suggests Judsen Culbreth, author of ‘The Boomers Guide to Online Dating:’ Do you have an accepting attitude of the opposite sex — that is, do you not think all men are jerks or that all women are gold-diggers? Are you engaged in activities and interests besides your work and kids? Do you believe you have control and can shape what happens in your love life? If you answered yes to these questions, then you may indeed have the right attitude.

Health Plans Boom for Early Retirees 

DALLAS MORNING NEWS

Special to the BBM 

Making it to Medicare has become one of the biggest challenges for baby boomers who retire or are laid off before 65.

Individual health insurance can be expensive. More than half of the pre-65 boomers on such policies spend at least $300 in monthly premiums for single coverage, according to the Commonwealth Fund, a Washington policy institute.

And those with a chronic medical condition may be denied coverage related to that condition or turned down altogether.

But hope may be on the horizon. Lured by the baby boomer generation’s size and affluence, a number of insurers have begun to market policies specifically geared to ages 50 to 64.

Consumer advocates are cautious about the new individual plans, wondering whether they will do any good for older adults who have not been able to buy affordable coverage because of preexisting conditions.

Prices will remain high, the advocates predict, and many chronic conditions will still be excluded.

But other industry observers predict the emerging competition will make health insurance more affordable and therefore obtainable for at least some of the seven million Americans in that age group who are without coverage.

Help cannot come too soon for Lon Orenstein of Dallas, who is 58 and runs a computer-software-design business. His yearlong search for a “reasonably priced” policy has forced him to change his expectations of health insurance.

“I started by looking for a comprehensive plan similar to what I had when I worked for someone else,” he said. “Now, after suffering sticker shock, I’m just trying to find something to cover me in case I ever cross paths with a truck.”

Early retirees without employer-subsidized coverage can expect to spend an average of 40 percent of their preretirement income on medical expenses, the Commonwealth Fund said.

“For the pre-Medicare crowd, one serious illness or injury could wipe out their savings and drive them into bankruptcy,” said Sara Collins, a health insurance expert with the group.

It was not always so.

Early retirees once could depend on employer-subsidized health plans until Medicare began at 65, but companies hit by new accounting rules and escalating medical costs have scaled back retiree health coverage.

Only 35 percent of big employers offer retiree health benefits, down from 66 percent 20 years ago, according to the Kaiser Family Foundation.

Drawing the most attention among insurers has been Aetna Inc., which recently signed an agreement with AARP’s business unit to offer a range of plans for members.

The Premier plans, for example, have been designed to provide coverage resembling employer-subsidized plans, though the insured individuals must bear the full cost and go through an underwriting process. The cost depends on the beneficiary’s age, address, sex, medical history and coverage. A 52-year-old Dallas man in reasonable health will pay $295 a month for a plan with a $2,500 deductible.

Though Aetna will continue to review an applicant’s medical history to determine eligibility, John Wider, vice president of health products and services for AARP Services Inc., predicted the company will be “more accepting” of certain medical conditions.

Jan Foster of Duncanville, Texas, is an AARP member who is 60 and has struggled to find affordable insurance since becoming an independent contractor in 2000.

Foster reads the sales brochures that come in the mail from AARP Services and said she would be interested in one of the Aetna plans if the cost fits her budget.

“For eight years, my only insurance has been the flu shot I get at the drugstore,” she said. “I don’t know how much longer that’s going to work.”

Another provider, Humana Inc., said it was promoting its Portrait plans to the pre-Medicare market because they come with unlimited doctor’s visits, a feature the insurer believes will appeal to boomers accustomed to group plans.

Co-payments are $35 for visits to primary-care doctors and $50 for visits to specialists, said Steve DeRaleau, chief operating officer of HumanaOne, Humana’s individual policy business.

Early retirees who are healthy and have a financial cushion should consider a high-deductible plan that has a lower monthly premium but still guards against a serious illness or accident, said Mike Smith, executive vice president of Brokerage Inc., an insurance marketer in Lewisville, Texas.

 
One of the biggest reasons why most of us think twice about buying eyewear online is you need to know what your pupillary distance is. That is the distance between the beads of your eyeballs. It gets to be a little tricky when you go to your brick and mortar store just the get your PD.  Come on, they know what the deal is.  If you choose this route to get your eyes measured you might want to bring some back up. Below is an alternative method I found at www.eyeglass.com. There is a LOT more to know than just what is included in the captions below…do a search in the box in the upper right hand corner to learn the ins and outs of purchasing online.  Again this is not an endorsement of www.eyeglass.com.  No one here has ordered from them. But they are worth checking out.  Leave a comment if you buy so others will know what the story is. Editor
 

Famous Baby Boomers with

Hearing Loss

Bill Clinton

Former President Bill Clinton, cited hearing loss as a medical challenge in his annual physicals. Then his saxophone playing, rock concert and marching band attendances, loud campaign rallies and screeching presidential helicopters caught up with him. During his second term in the White House, Bill Clinton sought treatment for the difficulty he was experiencing with high frequency sounds. In 1997, Bill Clinton was fitted with a pair of almost invisible state-of-the-art digital hearing aids. 



 Lou Ferrigno

Lou Ferrigno, the Hulk in the Incredible Hulk TV show, suffered an 85 percent hearing loss due to an ear infection at a young age. He says: “If I hadn’t lost my hearing, I wouldn’t be where I am now. It forced me to maximize my own potential. I have to be better than the average person to succeed.” At age 21, Ferrigno was the youngest athlete to become Mr. Universe, an achievement that has yet to be equalled. Lou Ferrigno has starred in over 15 movies, played professional football and won several body building titles, including Mr. America and Mr. International.

Barbra Streisand

Singing diva, movie star and political activist, Barbra Streisand has suffered from tinnitus (ringing ears or ear noise) since the age of seven. According to the Independent, a British newspaper, Barbra believes her volatile temperament stems from her hearing affliction, which disrupts her sleep and affects her balance.

Phil Collins

Former Genesis drummer and vocalist, Phil Collins, recently announced that the would cut back on his live concerts because of his hearing loss. The 51 year-old baby boomer stated that he will perform live only occasionally to avoid further hearing loss in his left ear.

Bono

U2 lead singer, Bono, describes his hearing problem in his lyrics. Bono derived his name from a hearing aid store in his hometown of Dublin, Ireland which had a sign that read “Bonavox Hearing Aids.”

Pete Townshend

According to the 57-year-old guitarist: “I have severe hearing damage. It’s manifested itself as tinnitus, ringing in the ears at frequencies that I play guitar. It hurts, it’s painful, and it’s frustrating.” Townshend is completely deaf in one ear as a result of an explosion Keith Moon initiated when he blew up his drum set live on stage in the early 1960’s, and loud amps. His tinnitus resulted somewhat from the band’s live concerts but mainly the loud volume in which he and Entwistle used to listen to playbacks over the studio “cans.” There are reports saying that he is unable even to hear his phone ring. Recently Pete said: “The recent return to touring and to me playing electric guitar - albeit more quietly than in the 1970s - led to further deterioration of my hearing. My right ear, which encounters my own edgy guitar and the machine gun strokes of the drums, has suffered badly. Luckily for me, I still have my left ear, which seems to be less xxxx up. When I’ve worked solo in the past five years I’ve not used drums. This has meant I could play more quietly I think. With The Who, there is of course no way to play the old songs without drums. I’ve no idea what I can do about this. I am unable to perform with in-ear monitors. In fact, they increase the often unbearable tinnitus I suffer after shows.”

 These hearing tidbit have been provided by a Hearing Aid company.  Naturally.

Go here to learn more…http://www.myhearpod.com/about_hearpod.html…do remember this is not an endorsement, just payback for using their stuff. Editor 

 Flex Your Brain Muscle

The best way to keep your brain sharp is to exercise it. A dwindling memory and decreased concentration are generally caused by decreased blood flow to the brain and loss of brain cells.

Research shows that physical exercise may encourage the brain to work at optimum capacity by causing nerve cells to multiply, strengthening their interconnections and protecting them from damage. 

Try these actions to sharpen your thinking cap:

• Incorporate mind-stimulating games into your daily life that keep your mind working and stimulated. Listen intently and memorize names, shopping lists, and daily activities. Puzzles and memory games are also helpful.

• Regular cardiovascular exercises, including brisk walking, slow jogging, biking, or swimming, improve circulation to the brain and can help improve memory 20 to 30 percent.

•The sleep factor: A good night’s sleep is crucial for mental energy because our body regenerates during sleep. When you feel tired, take a 15-minute power nap. 

Brain Foods
A balanced diet rich in essential amino acids, omega oils, minerals and vitamins will ensure a vibrant and sharp memory. Make sure to eat some form of protein with every meal-as nuts, seeds, beans, legumes or animal products.

Fish, especially deep ocean fish, provide a good source for the essential oils that our cells need to function optimally. Other brain foods include: apples, bamboo shoots, beets, bell peppers, celery, yams, squash, snow peas, pumpkin, potatoes, parsley, mushrooms, goji berries, papaya, pineapples, raspberries, oats, adzuki beans, black beans, chestnuts, sesame seeds, and (black) walnuts.

Micro-algae-blue-green algae, spirulina and chlorella-are easy to digest, high protein, and high-energy supplements that support healthy brain functions.

Dr. Mao’s Anti-Aging Brain Mix
The essential fatty acids, rich carotenoids, and antioxidants in this mix will nourish and support your brain.

• 1 cup walnut
• 1/2 cup pine nut
• 1/4 cup sesame seed
• 1/2 cup pumpkin seed
• 1/3 cup dried goji berry (lycium berry)
• 1/2 cup apricot and 1/2 cup blueberry.

In addition to eating the right foods, drink green tea every day, which prevents an enzyme found in Alzheimer’s and is also rich in polyphenols, antioxidants that help prevent premature brain aging.

When you need to concentrate or find your focus waning, try making a tea from herbs and spices rich in volatile oils and B vitamins that naturally perk up your brain.

Steep any of the following herbs in hot water for five minutes: dill, clove, oregano, cilantro, rosemary, sage, fennel, anise, cardamon, garlic, onion, ginger, leek, scallion, pepper, chive, cinnamon, basil, and coriander. Feel free to combine more than one!
. 
Herbal Help
These herbs will help improve your memory and tune up your concentration:

•

 Ginkgo boosts circulation to the brain and other organs, improving memory and cognitive functions. Ginkgo has been most effective in helping symptoms of senility, dementia, anxiety, forgetfulness, and inability to concentrate and attention deficit disorder in adults. Gingko biloba supplements have been found effective for strengthening learning, thinking, retention and recall.

•

 Goji berry, also known as lycium berry or wolfberry, is a delicious fruit native to China that has long been known for its tonic effects on vision and the brain.

• Schisandra berry is a prized energy tonic that enhances mental concentration as it simultaneously soothes the nerves.

•

These and other Chinese herbs that support healthy brain functions can be found in my herbal formula, Super Clarity.  

I hope you find the ways to power up your brain! I invite you to visit often and share your own personal health and longevity tips with me. 

May you live long, live strong, and live happy!

-Dr. Mao

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To learn more about Dr. Mao and other natural health tips, go toaskdrmao.com.

To purchase Dr. Mao’s book, “Secrets of Self Healing,” click here.